Club-By-Club: Hooyah & Harden Up (Round 1)

Author disclaimer: To all the players, coaches and administrators, the following opinions are mine and mine alone. It’s ALWAYS business – and NEVER personal. So, if I name you, shame you, offend you or slap you on the back and put your name up in lights, just accept it for what it is and move on.

By Damon Lowery.

A reminder, I write as I see it. My opinions are strictly business and never personal. The Hooyah is a Navy Seal war cry reserved for those who achieve greatness or accomplish a mission to the best of their ability. The Harden Up is for those who could have done a little better. Let’s get it.

HOOYAH: Lat Mayen: you dropped 23 points (87%) in just 27 minutes – and only missed 2 shots. I loved watching you go about your business.

HARDEN UP: Isaac Humphries, you were all out of sorts. 18 minutes of playing time for just 2 points and 1 rebound? Aww hell naw! We can’t have this “Big Ice”. I know your teammates have a knack of forgetting about you, but you gotta let em know. If I were you, I’d refuse to set another pick 23 feet away from the basket until I get the god damn ball in the post a few times. But in saying that, there are no victims here; there were a lot of missed shots and you’re 6ft 11” so go and get those boards!

Hooyah ... Lat Mayen.

HOOYAH: To Keandre Cook: 25 points on debut as a lone hand on a dirty night.

HARDEN UP: Coach Justin Schueller labelled the entire performance “pathetic” and I ain’t gonna disagree. The Bullets need a lot more from everyone, but especially Tyrell Harrison and James Batemon. Batemon, you had 3 turnovers which ain’t horrible but when it matches your points production, it’s just asking for a Harden Up.

Harden up ... James Batemon.

HOOYAH: Tanner Groves, from Spokane Washington, 19 points and 7 rebounds is a great first outing in the NBL.

HARDEN UP: At 6ft 10”, you need to be pulling in more than a solitary rebound in 24 minutes. Yeah, I’m looking at you, Sam Wardenburg. I know you play outside and have deadly range when you get going, but you also gotta clean the glass too.

Harden up ... Sam Waardenburg.

HOOYAH: Everyone loves a payday, and we all got richer having watched you, Darius “Pay” Days go to work. 20 points, 12 rebounds in 29 minutes and only made one triple. Hell yeah!

HARDEN UP: Whoever designed those uniforms. In my opinion, the uniform should reflect how potent a team is. The tomato red with two white stripes around the waist that looked like a belt, gave me Santa Claus vibes and Christmas is three months away! Where was the fierce Hawks’ logo? Do better!

Harden up ... Santa Claus uniforms.

HOOYAH: Shea Ili and Matthew Dellavedova, you combined for 35 points, 11 assists and only 2 turnovers; what a combo! I’m calling you a two-headed monster: “ILLA-DOVA”.

HARDEN UP: I don’t like the M part of your new logo, it looks like you clean ripped it off the City of Melbourne and drew it with a crayon. That’s all I got.

Hooyah ... Matthew Dellavedova.

HOOYAH: The human blur and the Vice-President of the ‘Lil Big Man society, Parker Jackson Cartwright. You helped yourself to an easy 22 points and 11 assists despite five or six 7-footers wandering around out there.

HARDEN UP: Jonah Bolden - you need to show us why you were in the NBA and 7 points and 6 rebounds simply ain’t enough for a player with your talent. You’re 6ft 11” dude! Gonna need you to act like it big fella.

Hooyah ... Parker Jackson-Cartwright.

HOOYAH: Batman and Robin, Han Solo and Chewbacca, choc chip cookies and milk – you get where I’m going with this – they’re all formidable combinations and now we have another in Bryce Cotton and Keanu Pinder. Bryce, you hit 8 triples on your way to 26 points. Keanu, your game-high of 29 was outstanding and included 4 threes. I wish all the other teams luck if you two keep this up all season. 
*Honourable mention to macaroni and cheese

HARDEN UP: I got nothing after a great all-round performance.

Hooyah ... Bryce Cotton.

HOOYAH: Jordy “the bounty” Hunter: you were everywhere and had 19 points and 7 rebounds in 20 minutes, plus only 2 fouls. Coach Mike Kelly will get a Harden Up soon if he only plays you 20 minutes on Thursday night.

HARDEN UP: Nathan Sobey - in your first game with your new team, you lost your cool. We know you’re a passionate guy and you play with your heart on your sleeve, but you gotta have more composure. If the other teams know to rattle your cage, all they have to do is get a little physical, then guess what they’re all gonna do?

Harden up ... Nathan Sobey.

HOOYAH: Jaylen Adams - Man, you’re soooo good, you can do anything you want out on the floor and you know it. 25 points, 6 rebounds and 7 assists with ZERO turnovers shows you’re a former MVP of this League, and probably a future one.

HARDEN UP: Picking up fouls 90 feet from the basket is a bad habit. Bul Kuol, I know you’re a Pitbull, but you can’t help your team when you’re sitting on the bench. To your credit you didn’t foul-out but you kill any chance of gaining momentum.

Hooyah ... Jaylen Adams.

HOOYAH: There’s no “quit” in these poisonous ants so credit for putting up a spirited fight.

HARDEN UP: Coach Scott Roth: for being dramatic in the lead-up to the game saying “my worst fears” came true regarding injuries. Then post-game, even though you said travel and injuries were no excuse for losing, you went on to say travel and injuries were an issue because you’d had no rest between games. Sure it’s been three weeks, but let’s speak to New Zealand about being away from their families during Covid for two seasons. Let’s check in with Melbourne and Perth that travel for four and six weeks respectively over December and January when the tennis is on. How about this, Scott: trade jobs with me! You can take my 9-to-5 desk job and let me travel the world coaching basketball. And next time you’re being interviewed, show some respect to the person tasked with doing their job. This sort of whingeing doesn’t sit well in the wanna-be navy seal community.

Harden up ... Scott Roth.

HOOYAH: HoopsFest was a great event and brought the world of basketball together and gave the sport its much deserved “moment”. Well done to all involved and to the Western Australia Premier Roger Cook for vowing to bring it back again next year.

HARDEN UP: To the ref who blew the whistle on Montrezl Harrell for “engaging” with the fans and hyping them up, you’re lucky you took that warning back. We want to see players’ personalities and the last thing we need is a whole bunch of boring robots out there showing no emotion because they keep getting T’d up.

Bonus HOOYAH: Jo Healy, our courtside reporter extraordinaire. The way you handled yourself during Scott Roth’s disrespectful interview was admirable. Some would have crumbled in the moment, but you remained poised and stayed professional the whole way through. Next time, just get up and walk out. You didn’t deserve that for trying to do your job.

Jo Healy.